I have always thought I was a big girl. Growing up and dancing for nine years, I was always one of the biggest girls. In high school I was never as small as the popular girls. My Dad really did a number on me. He always told me I had the perfect shape. If I just lost a little bit of weight, I would be perfect. Whatever he was trying to do didn't work. It gave me the worst possible self image a girl could have. I always heard him talk about how beautiful my sister was and how she could get any guy she wanted. I never heard those things about me. "Just lose a little and you would be perfect." Well let's take a look at my size back then, shall we? Of course I was a teenager and I gained and lost, gained and lost. But my senior year, I looked like this...
Breakfast before Senior Speeches
In Senior Seminar with Hannah
At Renaissance Fun Park - Senior Trip
Before Prom
Me and my date
I look back now and think, "DAMN! I looked good!" Bu then I thought I was huge. Like marshmallow man (or whatever he was) from Ghostbusters big! What was I thinking???
I think it is important to pause here and think how we talk to our daughters. What do we show them is valuable? Their looks? Their personality? Do we talk bad about ourselves in front of them? Do we make it seem that their physical traits are the most important thing about them? What do we put emphasis on and what do they think when we do this?
I honestly think had I been told I was beautiful or perfect the way I was everyday, my self image would have drastically been different.
Anyways, I have changed a lot. When I last started this blog, I had just had a baby. My c-section kept me from working out as soon as I had planned. Breastfeeding which was supposed to help.... was nipped in the butt by the lovely nurses at my hospital who decided to give my son a bottle before I was allowed to feed him. That successfully make my chunky monkey impatient. Impatient to the point he didn't want to wait for me.
I went back to school full time. My boyfriend lost his job and we moved all in a short amount of time. I was stressed to the max, which tacked on more weight. Anyways, I don't know that I have a picture of me at my biggest, because I hating taking them, so I never did. But I have some recent ones from yesterday.
Drumroll please......
Ok O.K.... I know. I'm bigger. But you try getting over that almost 10 pound little monster shacking up in your body for 9 months. (Though he was worth every minute of it) It's harder than it looks. I could have done it sooner. But I didn't. I'm doing it now.
Oh and BY THE WAY! This is me 7 pounds lighter than 3 weeks ago. At my job we have been competing with other teams in The Biggest Loser. I lost 3 pounds the first week when I cut out cokes. Two the next and Two the following. This past week I maintained, but I think that is darn good during the holidays. I went from... OMG... I am about to say it... 203 to 196. *shew* That wasn't so hard. I'm not a number you know.
I have been eating healthier, cut out cokes and.... I JOINED A GYM! I was tired of never having the time to go. So I MADE time. I work at 8:30 every moring. So I get up at 5:30, go to the gym, work out, relax with some red light therapy, and tan. Then I shower, get ready and head to work.
I don't have a lot of support with this. It makes it so much easier if you do. Many people at work have given up on the biggest loser. I don't have a gym buddy yet. But I am trying to stay positive and motivated. I already have noticed some changes. I can make it up the stairs without getting winded. I have more energy, etc. All the motivation I need is for my health and my little ones. I CAN DO THIS! I AM DOING THIS!
For me and my health. For my kids. SCREW NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS. This is a NEW LIFE RESOLUTION!
Feel free to leave comments if you like. Motivation never hurts. ;-D
